The warm weather that had been hiding behind a rock decided to peak out for a bit this week. You know what that means- operation get in shape and Amanda loses 10 pounds! Much easier said than done. Believe me when I say that I love food almost as much as I love performing. Coming up with a "diet" that I will actually stick to is going to be quite the challenge. By diet please know I do not mean eating one strawberry a day. I simply mean rearranging when I eat, how much I eat, and the content in which I am consuming.
Thursday morning I woke up especially early for my taste and decided to dive headfirst into the challenge. Somewhere amidst the running four miles, dancing at the studio, and eating a celery stick I realized how much it stinks to eat healthy. The food is expensive, I always need time to prepare it, and I usually still feel hungry after eating a correct portion. If only there was a drive through health food place, then my complaints would be non-existent. What I wouldn't give for there to be a McFruity's, Veggie King, or Salad Bell. Regardless, looking "good" to society's standards is exhausting!
I would really like to have a one on one conversation with the nut job that decided the Marilyn curves were out and the Gwyneth Paltrow boxy, super skinny body was in. So many individuals put themselves through such great lengths to have the right face, body, hair,etc. Wait… "right??" What is "right" anyhow? If you have to be a certain look, act a certain way, or think certain things to be socially accepted, then I have wrong written all over me. I personally think the "right" body is a confident and healthy one.
Okay, I get it. We all have people that we aspire to be like. People we look up to. People who motivate you to keep doing what you are doing. But where is the line drawn between a role model you have similarities with and being a carbon copy? Within the entertainment world so many individuals are caught up in wanting to be exactly like people who are already successful in something. It's almost as if they have it in their minds that the only way to be successful is to become them.
As a whole we are in a "play it safe" era for entertainment. Professionals have made up their minds about what works and advise each other to stick to that. So many artists are afraid to step outside their comfort zone. And because of this, I feel as though the industry has hit a plateau. Think about it. What other decade has re-released this many movies, come up with never-ending sequels, or has come up with new television shows that have the same base structure as the last ten they made? It's as if producers will do anything to cut corners, make money, and be sure of the outcome. And the cycle continues.
Well, I have chosen to stay different. I pride myself on being unique. I leave aside all choices to compromise to a norm and give only me. I feel that the only way to change the ongoing stagnant status of society as well as the entertainment world is to stay unique.There is so much talent out there as well as creative, out of the box, minds. So let's grab onto those people in our lives that encourage us to think differently. Let's be willing to take a risk and add a pizazz to what we already know will work. Let's learn from the classic years of entertainment and keep pushing the boundaries, keep challenging each other to go to another place of thinking, and keep accepting growth/change!
I cannot wait for the day that the "norm" is choosing not to have one. The freedom that we would have with expression could move mountains and really change lives. Thus, another goal I am adding to my list is to become one of those people I spoke of earlier. I want to be someone others look up to. Whether it is for my art, personality, or success does not really matter so much as I want them to see how I chose to be different. You see, I would never want people to be me, but instead be like me int he sense of sticking to who you are as an individual. I want to affect people by helping them find what makes them unique and grow from that. With that said, it is time to do another self diagnostic and get on track. Till next time…
Me and one of the mini dancers. Looks JUST like Miss Amanda, doesn't she?
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
- Mother Theresa
As much as I adore updating about my progress in my own life, I feel the need to step outside of that this week. A big part of my life is the dance community, specifically the Chicago dance community. I decided that I would share my outlook that I believe in as an artist. With that said, here is my rant. Cue Prince's hit song 1999- " I was dreaming' when I wrote this, so sue me if it goes astray…"
A supportive attitude is a characteristic stemming from a place of love. Love is absolutely everything I live by. Every fiber of my being is made to give love, to accept love, to be in love, and nourish love. Love can come in many forms and is distinctively unique to each individual who is experiencing it. Love, to me begins from a place of acceptance for something or someone. Many people have lifestyles or careers where it isn't always easy to express love. I feel grateful that who I am as an artist is a full reflection of my love and passion for it. The entertainment world is capable of giving and nourishing love so easily, it's called support.
Artists, to me, are not only defined by someone skilled in a particular craft, but are also passionate about it. In turn, an artist's mindset should always come from a place of love first. We have the ability to see a distinct beauty in everyone and everything around us. Artists can appreciate ALL forms of art and are supportive to ALL individual's passions. Artists know how to take a compliment as well as stay humble enough to know that the inspirational, learning, and growing process is a never-ending cycle.Something that distinguishes artists from just "talented people" is that they have zero room or time for judgement on other people's work. The day an artist allows themselves to do that is the day they need to turn in their "artist cards."
I want to give some backing to where my opinions come from based on a collection of my experiences in the dance community. Originally turned onto acting, I joined dance at the later age of 10. I fell in love with expanding to another way of expressing yourself. The ability to work hard at something unique and physically feeling progress in my body. I loved how easy it was to uplift and support one another through words, music, team comradery, or even just the energies that one another would exude in a room or on stage. Compared to other circuits, growing up on the Chicago competition dance circuit was very competitive. I would not be alone in saying it is often turned into a negative atmosphere for artists.
Instead of dancers driven by their own passion for growth and support, a lot of dancer's pursued a cardboard cutout perfection just to beat out other companies. Every season I would witness dancers who would hop around from company to company bad-mouthing wherever they were last in attempts to get themselves ahead. There was a consistent lack of loyalty to their dance families. All too often you would experience company rivalry get out of hand. When one company would beat another, the dancers would have too much pride to congratulate one another and find ways to publicly trash the winner's dancing, artistry, or talent. Don't get me wrong, I am all for a healthy competitive spirit and team pride. In the more recent years dancers replace motivating and challenging one another to push their limits and abilities to the next level with gossip, not supporting everyone, and a major lack of humility in their character.
What's even more disappointing, is that it is not only in children that we see this type of behavior. Like I stated in last week's blog, I had the opportunity to perform alongside several dance crews from the Chicago area in a hip hop showcase recently. I, personally, had the privilege of experiencing a lot of positive feedback and supportive comments. My favorite one was after viewing a video of the performance someone said, " Whoa, at 5:15 Amanda makes me feel like I don't have complete control of my life and I'm actually in someone else's palms!"
Unfortunately, not everyone got feedback like that. In fact, earlier this week there was an "outbreak" of negative gossip regarding the Vicious family. A lot of hurtful words and rumors were said from other dance crews that are in Chicago. Needless to say, it was disappointing to know that grown "artists" have the time to act from a place of hate. The judgmental and analytically based remarks truly baffled me. I am proud, however, to be a part of a small intimate dance family that is Vicious. We have two things in our mind at all times- our passion for this, and our drive to be legendary.
No one who became legendary got there without having some backtalk, being gossiped about, or hated on. The only thing we as a family can do is what we already have done: stay humble, love every second of what we do/experience together, and work our butts off. Passionate people come with the price of having extreme emotions- that includes ALL emotions negative and positive. If people don't understand that without that sort of passion in our work and in our livelihood, that we wouldn't be Vicious at all. The reason we are a collective is not because we have the same dance ability, not because we all are the same body type, and not because we have the same strengths. It's because every single one of us has fought some sort of battle in our life, small or large, that has tested our character and tenacity. And because of that struggle or journey that we went through individually, it gave us the ability to come together and share the gifts that we were given, no matter how different, and support one another. And that's Vicious. There's nothing more to it. We dance. We work hard. We feel. -- and love every minute of it!
Back to my point of love. I find it a lot less difficult to accept someone as they are without reason behind it and love them. Love them unconditionally in hopes of watching who they are molded into, and be a part of someone's life in a positive way. On the other hand, I don't comprehend why so many individuals have the energy or time to judge and give reason behind their judgments, or "hate" someone. I can only continue loving the way I know how and hope it rubs off. With the recent drama and disturbances within the chicago dance scene, I find myself at a loss for words. Art is so beautiful when supported, accepted, and motivated. I cannot see how judging others helps our community and this facet of sharing passion grow. Maybe it's my lack of reason and overly accepting nature that is blinding me. But then again, love is blind. Conveniently, I came across this article backing my idea on love/hate. Feel free to check it out.http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/scientists-prove-it-really-is-a-thin-line-between-love-and-hate-976901.html
In conclusion, CHECK YOURSELF! If you consider yourself an artist and read through this, reflect on how you reacted internally to this. If you were rebelling my opinion then you already have proved my point and I thank you. I am in no way saying this is the right way to think, or the only way to think. I am simply stating my opinion and hoping to give insight. I would choose standing up for an opinion and vulnerably sharing it, over keeping quiet and never developing a sense of self. Consequently, you as readers are more than entitled to your own opinion on all of this. Please share it! I encourage you to. I will never expect everyone I encounter to think, feel, believe, or do what I do. Most importantly, I am always willing to embrace your perspective from a nonjudgmental place. I am very passionate in thinking the entertainment world could better itself as a community if we all just took the time we used to judge others and spend it accepting instead.
Till next time….
in between dress rehearsal and call time with Kris and Dome
A million things are going through a dancer's mind while in the midst of a performance. Listen to the musicality. Find your formation. Hit your level on this count. Nailed it. Remember to extend my lines here and not to rush. Breath, you have only finished the first section. Make eye contact with the crowd. And end pose on "1." Stay there, force the audience to react louder. Yes, they loved it. Walk off and smile. Whoa, all health issues considered, that felt pretty great!
a picture of the crowd from Urbanite.
Kris and I with other performers after our set.
A little over a week ago, I woke up feeling extremely under the weather. You know, the sore throat, achy body, fever/chills, and no energy to exert anything feeling. Yea. Being the overly stubborn individual that I am, I completely ignored it and went about my jam packed schedule of rehearsals, taking the train, teach, take the train, rehearse, etc. I was thinking that if I pretend it isn't there then the sickness will go away. WRONG. My symptoms progressed through the week. The fevers were spiking. Everything was beyond sore. Oh and that thing that I once considered tonsils, took over my throat like a dictator, conquering all the space back there to itself and suffocating/starving its enemy, me. My neck was so huge I looked like a rhino and couldn't eat much. I was beyond the definition of lethargic and worn out by anything I did. Even talking on the phone felt as though I had been running on a treadmill for an hour. Not good. I needed to get around this situation. No one's schedule ever allows for time to be sick.
" The only way out of something is through, never around." - Anthony Meindl
Well said Anthony, I could not get "around" being sick. Time to push on through. My sickness's timing was impeccable I must say. I had a performance coming up this weekend in southern Illinois. On top of that my group, Vicious, still had to put together our entire set for the show. This week was easily a huge test to my tenacity and will power. Bring it on. Accompanying me for the week was a backpack filled with medicines, vitamins, teas, throat drops, and orange juice. I am not about to let health beat me this week. No way. By the time Thursday/ Friday came along my body was on complete shut down mode. There was no more fighting it. Friday was a blur to me. I gave in and slept the whole day, before I knew it Saturday was here.
Saturday evening marked the date of Dance 2xs's Urbanite hip hop showcase. Twice a year Dance 2xs and Project Element hosts Urbanite, where multiple crews in the Chicago area come together and perform for each other at the Canopy Club down in Urbana, IL. Vicious made a lovely appearance. It is hard to explain how great if feels to be onstage with this group. We are all so passionate and strong artists that when we come together it is captivating. The weekend went by successfully. I always love being around such diverse groups of dancers and embracing that supportive atmosphere that Urbanite gives.
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upper left: Kris and I before final call time. lower left: the three of us getting ready for show. above: Dome and I before dress rehearsal
Having yet another moment onstage continues to remind me that that is what I am made for. When I am performing, it is almost like I go into this alternate world or alternate self. What I personally go through internally minutes before heading to the stage is never fear, anxiousness, or nerves. Instead it's a calm confidence in knowing that I am about to make at least one person in that audience feel something. To share my energy with another and getting a reaction is where I thrive to be. Vicious once again gave me that opportunity this weekend. After performing, it was overwhelming and humbling the amount of positive feedback people gave.
I will admit, I absolutely adore hearing what others have to say about a performance I was a part of. To me, knowing how they felt, what affected them and/or took them there is everything. Several times, when speaking to people about Urbanite, I came to the realization that I was completely in my alternate reality. Fellow performers and audience members were raving about a single moment I personally gave face, movement, or quirk that I couldn't even recall doing. I was so wrapped into the character my music gave. All in all, despite my being sick, I had a blast getting on the stage again. This was another step in my road towards sharing who I am to a bigger mass of people. I am humbled and honored to be doing what I love and have opportunities to share that. It only motivates me further to want to work harder, give more, and develop my craft further. I genuinely feel that if I continue on this path, that my ability to affect people through multiple facets of performing can only get bigger and better. Good weekend. Great feelings. Back to the rabbit hole to grow further. Always moving, always changing, always gaining, never stopping.
BELOW- a video of tech rehearsal of set vicious performed. we aren't in costume or dancing full out. :/
Vicious with Marty Kudelka after class.
"Love ever gives. Forgives outlives. And ever stands with open hands. And while it lives, it gives. For this is love's prerogative-- to give and give and give" John Oxenham
I was questioned recently by a Starbuck's employee when I wanted to pay for the man behind me in line's drink. His face was priceless, but I insisted and said it was just something I felt like doing. Encouraging him to do the same for the lady behind him, I smiled and walked away. Later that morning, after two hours or so had passed, I hear a man in line say he was going to pay for someone's drink. I slightly chuckled to myself feeling grateful that there are more genuinely giving people than I thought. Today I was excited to use a new Starbucks gift card and ordered a frou-frou, six million custom-option drink. Immediately I saw the worry on the employee's face as he attempted to read back the drink my mind had concocted. I felt bad, and looked up at the very tall businessman standing behind me. If you could picture a mix between Jack Skellington and Kobe Bryant, that's who was behind me. You could sense his exhaustion of waiting and annoyance of a little eclectic ball of energy, me, being the only thing standing between him and his grande black coffee. I apologized with a soft smile and threw my innocent big blue eyes his way in hopes of calming him down. Nothing cracked him so I preceded to pay for his drink. Immediately his demeanor changed and insisted on paying for mine. Although buying a cup of coffee for someone is such a small gesture, it was an affirmation of the " what goes around comes around" theory. These two moments really got me reflecting on finding the fulfillment I get in living happily through each moment of my day.
can you sort of see what was behind me in line?
As human beings we are flawed, we makes mistakes, and are each given the innate gift of free will. Sometimes I think people take major advantage of that gift to selfishly make themselves the center of their world. I experience people everyday complaining about what they do not have, gossiping about those who "have it all," and superfluously giving excuses as to why it is okay to make selfish choices. What I don't detect regularly is genuine hearts willing to assist others just because. Too often people will lend a hand only if they will get recognition for it or there is something of value in it for them. Please understand, I am in no way trying to put myself on a high horse by any means. I am just as guilty of being that person I described above from time to time. I do, however reflect and reevaluate myself regularly. This is a side of me that needs more attention paid to during these stages on my road to success. Too many people seclude themselves and throw away relationships with others in the attempt for triumphs. To me, creating authentic connections with those around me regardless how ever small or large parts of my life they are in is just as important to success.
This week has been a wonderful opportunity to get back to that part of myself. The dance studio I regularly teach at in Michigan was on spring break and I was able to stay in Chicago through the week. Aside from the many hours of rehearsals I had, I was able to spend some quality time with old and new friends as well as family. This week was filled with realizations of how grateful I am to have some close individuals with such genuine hearts in my life. From offering a place to stay the night, to accompanying me to a re-release of a favorite movie, to going on an adventure through the world of Target, to making me a cup of tea as I got sick, to rearranging their schedule to accommodate a ride for me and laughing with me as I explore my unique self, these people are nothing short of a blessing to me. Not only that, but the people I have found to be present in my life currently are such a positive motivation. I know that goal setting is important and staying on track towards your aspirations is imperative, but in the past three of four weeks something bigger has been clicking that cannot be disregarded. I am happy. Happy in the purest sense. More than ever in my life, I am in complete infatuation of the here and now. Cue dorky clips of people that make me smile:
the ever adventurous titanic 3D experience
the lucky two that got to birth me! ;)
lovely ladies I dance with
roasting marshmallows with a sleepy grandma- MERR!
Yes, I have always been carefree, spontaneous, and living in the moment. So often though, I would self inflict consequences of worries, walls, what-ifs that blocked me from being completely happy all of the time. Recently, the passion in embracing literally every minute that comes my way has grown ten-fold. It's a feeling that is almost unexplainable. I am in complete certainty that my place career-wise is in continuing all the facets that branch off my dancing and acting skills. There is not a second I doubt my place in the entertainment world. And I know in the exact times necessary I will make major strides in both. Looking at the bigger picture though, I am a giver. One of my main purposes of life is to give love, in all of its layers of definition. I was reminded of that this week while conversing with my mom about the likeness between my grandmother and me. We are both compelled and committed to giving ourselves whole heartedly to those we care about and those that need us most. No questions asked. With that said, I realize that there are people and places that need my art and/or love right now. Not being able to audition on March 30 was no coincidence. Instead it was a reminder that there are things I need to accomplish before I dive into what Second City has to offer me in my life journey. Reflecting recently has helped me decide that attaining my career goals as well as affecting and having relationships with the people I encounter are equally significant in my happiness.
" When I was five years old, my mother always told me that the key to life was happiness. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy.' They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." -John Lennon
At the end of the day, sealing that sort of fulfillment and happiness is all it boils down to. Regarding my career, I am confident enough to know that I am going places, but still humble enough to know that my relationships should never dwindle because of it. My true happiness will come in sharing my journey with those who long to stand by my side throughout it all. Aside from subgoals, something I aspire to before taking the next artistic leap is having those concrete individuals consistently present in my life. I firmly believe you will be brought to the people that you need in your life. You just have to stay aware because some people you are meant to have in your life you meet by such chance, that it almost seems uncanny. So I challenge you readers, to take the time to develop new relationships, with whomever it may be that was brought into your life today. Strike up a conversation with someone new whether it is the anxious person behind you in line at a coffee shop, someone you hold the door for because they are carrying several bags, or someone who lets you sit next to them while traveling on a crowded train. You never know what they could bring to your life or what you could bring to theirs.
Contrary to the habit of me writing novels each week, today's post will be somewhat shorter and more or less of an update of where things stand. Month one is done and I feel like it has flown by. A lot of choices have come and gone and I am looking anxiously to month number two. My ability to immediately record my thoughts and experiences was a fail this week. I found myself getting caught up in the busyness of my schedule and hardly having a moment to sit and reflect. Be that as it may, my post today might lack the personality it usually exudes.
As far as this past Friday's auditions are concerned, I did not get to audition. I am not bummed by any means. I sort of had an intuition that June was going to be when things got started up for me. This is still a major part of my end goal, I am just on the path where we have to frequently yield for cross traffic. Since I have never been the type to plan things out, coming up with my revised game plan was a little difficult at first. From here on out, I am in Chicago weekly. Second City offers drop-in improv classes on both Saturday and Sundays. Pending my rehearsal schedules for dance projects, I will pop in over there as often as possible. In addition to their drop-in classes, I am going to enroll in one of their writing courses. I think this would be extremely beneficial in developing my voice in satirical sketch comedy. For the improv and writing side of me, that is what I am looking at until the next conservatory auditions in June.
Where my dancing is concerned, things are beginning to fill up the majority of my time. Carnival, a choreographer's showcase that is originated in Los Angeles, has recently started up in Chicago. This coming May will be Carnival's third Chicago Ball. Two of the choreographer's that were chosen to put together sets for the show asked if I would perform with them. The rehearsals for both sets have been underway for two weeks now. The two sets are completely different from one another which makes going from one rehearsal to the next challenging. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! On one end, Dome Larusso's set is a concept-driven piece, while Daz has very stylized movement to his. I am quite enthralled by how much versatility it demands in my execution of their choreography. Being a part of the Chicago dance scene once again has felt quite home. Not to mention the whipping into shape I am getting from all of this dancing is much more enjoyable than sitting for hours on the elliptical!
On top of Carnival, I have reconnected with a group of dancers that I used to perform with called, Vicious. Vicious is based in Chicago and performs locally. Led by Dome Larusso and Kris Rhodes, Vicious is known for their unique movement and enticing performance quality. Since I lived in Los Angeles, I haven't been able to perform with them for a while. Being back with the Vicious family gives me such a fulfilling feeling. We have all come from such different backgrounds and yet we all share the same tenacious and passionate lifestyles. It is so apparent when you see us together dancing and it draws you in fast. As of now, Vicious will be seen at this up and coming Urbanite and Prelude hip hop showcases, as well as have several bigger performances lined up for early summer.
As you can see, my schedule is definitely starting to fill up. I am still in need of returning to Los Angeles to get my car, belongings, and such. I have a list that is hovering over my head of what still needs to be finalized as far as my living situation goes. One of my goals by the end of March was to have all of that figured out. FAIL! This week, I have to commit the majority of my time to making necessary choices toward settling somewhere. Gosh, does that mean I have to actually make decisions about things?!? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..
Timing is such a strange thing. There's such allure in how events flow at the exact moment necessary to give an outcome that contributes to the creation of a bigger picture. A bigger picture that we try to reveal on a daily basis. A bigger picture that we often attempt to take control of. A bigger picture that can only be understood in its entirety after it unfolds before you. This morning something so small reminded me that we need to look at everything from that bigger picture mindset. Let me elaborate. Sunday night I was riding the train to visit a good friend in the suburbs of Chicago. When the train attendant came to punch tickets, he completely skipped me over and didn't take my ticket. Initially I thought to myself, "Well what a waste of my money, ugh!" Then come this morning while I was trying to catch the train back into the city in time for me to catch a second train back out to Michigan, I was running late. I didn't have time to stop at the ATM to get cash and the train was early! I sprinted from the car onto the train and had no cash to purchase the ticket. Luckily, after being completely frantic for no reason, I remembered I had my ticket from Sunday. Good deal! There was a reason that the day before the attendant just happened to skip over me. It took something as small as my train ticket to remind me to be grateful for each circumstance that comes your way, good or bad, and that it is always part of a bigger plan.
The plan had been that I was going to live out in California a few more years. Then, after being more developed as an artist, I wanted to take on the journey that is Second City. In January of this year, I hit a point where no matter how much I laughed or surrounded myself with things I adored, my body didn't feel right. So much of me was pulling in another direction and I needed to get on it. I was going to wait for June's audition of the conservatory and slowly transition myself here. I didn't do that. I submerged myself to the Midwest immediately and now more than ever, with this uncertain chance of auditioning a week away, I realize that there is something bigger still in the works. I have to let it unfold at it's own pace, and be ready for any outcome next weekend.
I tend to be challenged in thinking with this mentality. I am very much a right here, right now ambassador for living in the moment type girl. And as next weekend's audition is creeping up on me, I will admit, my uneasiness of not having a slot has kept me quite restless. So for this week I wanted to make sure I got myself out of my mind and into a place of self reassurance that everything does happen for a reason. To say that is one thing, but to truly come to acceptance of it requires reflection, analysis, and application.
This past month's events have been nothing short of a test to my strength, tenacity, forgiveness, and patience. I have learned so much about the people that come into my life who I genuinely care and love. I understand that the lifestyle I live comes with two things, one- a lot of people stepping in and out of your life for various reason and two- a need for an abundance of reassurance and unconditional love from those closest to me. Recently I have learned that not everyone can love a free spirit. During this major change and transition some people I cared very deeply for chose to let go of being in my life instead of walking beside me. On the flip side, I have been blessed to have people make such major steps towards me. Old and new friends have shown their acceptance, love and support for me in ways unimaginable. There's always a bigger picture, right? Right! So what exactly has been unfolding for me in the last few weeks?
I am regularly teaching at a dance studio in Michigan. The kids work unbelievably hard for me and it shows in their progress. I have found my self staying at the studio later into the night to choreograph or improv just out of the love for it, not because I have to. I have been conceptualizing and writing my first three sketches, one of which showcases my newest character I have been playing with. The feedback from people around me has been more present than ever. Not to mention that I am stoked about several up and coming dance performances in Chicago. The rehearsals for them started this past weekend. So my week is roughly going to be looking like this: Monday through Thursday I am in Michigan teaching, writing, choreographing and then Thursday night through Monday mornings I am in Chicago rehearsing, training, and popping over to Second City for their drop-in improv classes. So as you can see, setting aside my main subgoal of getting into the conservatory, a lot has been unfolding in the favor of my different layers of art.
The way I am looking at it, regardless of whether I get to audition next weekend or not, I know that I am in the right place. Call it a guess, a feeling, intuition, or insanity but I feel like for once many different aspects of myself are being nurtured.Don't get it twisted, I am still very nervous about next week's outcome/update. But I know that it is not the end-all-be-all of my journey if I don't get to audition. It simply means timing isn't in the right just yet. So, keeping it short, I am continuing to look at each circumstance as a slice of the bigger picture (or pizza- hmm now I am hungry) that is my path. All I can do is embrace each new addition to it and live the adventure that is our lives! Keep on, Keeping on.
Thought I would share the fortune I received this past weekend!
ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!
I clicked refresh time and time again in hopes that my computer had a glitch or that it would magically change what I was seeing. Nothing. Quickly, I shifted my focus to the phone in attempts to hear from another individual that this isn't real life. Ouch! Pinching myself didn't work, this was really happening. There is no open slots for the auditions. If you have been following along with my feed, you are aware that one of my main sub-goals is to audition for Second City's conservatory program at the end of this month. As of March 16th, slots were open for signing up to audition. The following morning, I anxiously went to the website and - BOOM! It hit me like a pile a bricks- everything was closed. I was too late. I know what you are thinking as you are reading this, "Why didn't she do it first thing on the 16th," followed by some cute idiom like, " The early bird gets the worm!" One thing is for sure. Leave it to me to make a big mistake early on. Whelp, there is no use crying over spilt milk, right? Wrong, what if that milk was the last cup in the entire world and was deliciously infused with a few tablespoons of NesQuick?!? Okay Amanda, you are being dramatic, back to reality.
The fact of the matter is I am not guaranteed even an audition for two weekends from now. The best I can do is show up the day of the auditions super early and wait in hopes that someone is a no show. If in fact a slot opens up there is a waiting list of people just like me trying to hop on the opportunity wagon. Now, where does that put me as far as my year long journey? Although I can still hope for the best and think that I will have the chance to audition, the reality of it is I need a PLAN B. On that note, this is what I have thus far. In the event that I cannot audition, the next audition is dated for June 1st. (believe me when I say I will be the first person to reserve a slot when those audition times open up) Until some answers are a bit clearer, I will finalize everything as far as settling in the Midwest, focus on dance, and get myself as prepared as possible. In the meantime I will sign up for a writing class or two over at Second City to keep me moving forward and staying well rounded in my craft. Good deal.
This week I wanted to share a little bit more about the dance side of me. But not just any part of dance. Specifically how I use the parallels of improv acting and improv dancing to further explore performance quality. I feel very blessed and grateful to be a dance teacher to all ages of kids. They give me such inspiration to create, search to gain more knowledge, and practice the meaning of unconditional love. When you are in my classes the things you will gain go way beyond learning how to dance. I believe in molding individuals with strong characters who have a genuine passion for life. In my training, the focus roots from extracting expression, uniqueness, and the inner performer- rather than expecting perfection. I comprehend that not every student of mine will pursue the arts. But I am determined that the kids I teach, whatever they may pursue, will have an unbelievable work ethic and tenacity for their goals. Our relationships give both ways. In all that I have to offer as a more experienced artist, they are the ones who inspire me the most to step outside of myself regularly. My students are constantly giving me ideas and things to write about. The interactions that we share and the experiences that we go through in the intimate space of dance studio is truly a breeding ground for new material.
Tiege, a graduated student of mine.
Madison Leigh another student whose artistry is one to be on the watch for!
A piece I choreographed based on "CLUE" the board game.
You see, the experience the audience gets when seeing an actor portray a role is quite parallel to that of a dancer in a piece. There will always be an "intent" behind their movement or an underlying message that the performer has to get across. Often enough dancers are also put in concept pieces where they actually play a character and carry a storyline. That's why with my students the learning process doesn't stop at dance. Believability is just as important with dancing, if not even more, because dancers cannot rely on dialogue to back up what they are attempting to make the audience feel. To get the dancers to connect in a deeper sense with their craft I have them improv. Go figure!
a shot from an Alice in Wonderland concept piece.
A shot from a dance based off the movie "Stepford Wives."
Similar to acting, when improving with dance we start with commitment and strong choices. A few students of mine in particular have made a major journey with me in creating a method to connect our acting, improv, and dance together to dig deeper behind our movement. We explored the meaning of the word "intent" in our dancing and developed a four step thinking/ experimental process that we can go through to further our abilities to feel.
It all starts with an intent. For example, let's say the dancer was asked to portray "wavering." One can easily look up the definition and hope to get a better grasp of what to express. We choose to play. Step one is to solely focus on the floor beneath you. It is no longer a dance floor but instead something of your choosing to put you in the environment of wavering. This gives the dancer the ability to experiment how much of the body uses the floor or how much of the floor space they will use. By doing this, the dancer gains the ability to literally put themselves in the world that the word creates. Step 2 is to choose a property of water that can signify wavering. With this exercise, the dancer discovers new textures to their movement. They play with the dynamic in their execution and give the word a heartbeat.
Step 3 is to take a trip to the zoo ( not literally). You see, in a art where dialogue isn't there to back up your emotions, having the ability to come across with the right body language is extremely important. For this step, the dancer interprets an animal ( or insect) whose body language can enhance your word. They then take that animal's movement and mannerisms and infuse that with their technique-based movement to inspire them to experiment with what they already know. Step 4 is definitely the kicker. Real life experiences. This is the step some dancers have difficulty with because some may not have felt this way or experienced the word. Here is where I ask the dancers to remember a time where they have been in a similar situation or feeling to their intent. Through their dance I don't want them to relive it as much as I ask them to revisit it. As humans we put our feelings, experiences, or beliefs into a certain area of our body. So in this step, the dancer hones in on a specific body part which then becomes the principal use in their movement to express, in this case, wavering.
I am not saying that this works for everyone, but in my experience, a lot of dancers have channelled into deeper and more meaningful movement. They experience a way to layer their portrayal of an intent. The matureness that I have witnessed in an artist studying this process and taking it further each time is extraordinary. The great part about it is the options and choices are endless. You should never have to same improv. It can help identify who you are as an artist and how far your creative thinking can reach. Like I said earlier, there are so many parallels between and actor and dancer that it almost seems to me like you can't have just one in your life. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to connect the two. Below is a recorded process I went through with the word wavering. There is no wrong way to approach or experience this other than a closed mind. I felt it important to express this side of me somewhat through spire spire as I have never just been an actor. In fact, dance and acting go hand and hand with me.
- to shake with a quivering motion
- become unsteady and unreliable
-undecided between two courses of action
1. FLOOR/ ENVIRONMENT:
- I chose a surface with a lot of big rocks taking up my space. This forced me to experiment with either staying put or taking big steps to travel and get elsewhere in the space. I felt it helped show the questioning almost as to where my decision should go. It also was almost unreliable in the sense of not knowing if the rocks beneath me were stable. This in turn forced me to almost question my movement.
- I chose a sprinkler. Sprinklers almost contradict the sort of movement quality that I would want to produce. You see they can have that staccato-like spray, but simultaneously are still moving in either a circular pattern or an arc shape. This was difficult for me because I found myself wanting to create that pretty arc or circle, but then drastically changing to something more sharp. It definitely enhanced the unreliableness that is wavering.
- For this one my choice was easy, chameleon. They are known as more shy creatures, slower moving, but can at the drop of a pin become quite skittish. Their bodies are very flexible and bend easily while their tails are used to hold onto things. I used this to my advantage of being undecided within my intent. Going along with that, chameleons can move their eyes separately, being able to look two ways at once. symbolizing for me not knowing my next course of action. Finally, they change colors based on light, surroundings, or mood. This was perfect because when i was closer to the camera it was darker and further from the camera it was lighter. I chose to express myself through acting more up close and then dancing further away- but still staying true to wavering.
4. BODY PART:
- The body part I really used going through wavering was my hands and my eyes. I could not decide on one.
So, here it is, my interpretation of wavering. Enjoy.
" It's the actors who are prepared to make fools of themselves who are usually the ones who come to mean something to an audience."
It is seven a.m. and my phone is playing a tune reminiscent of the summer's warm and fuzzy-like atmosphere. Barely forcing myself awake I realize it is not warm, things were not feeling fuzzy, and I had only gotten two hours of shut eye. My hand presses snooze while I give a less than enthusiastic sigh and roll over for a few more moments. After all, I sort of deserve to be sleepy. On the west coast it was just turning 4 a.m. and that's usually the time my night ends, not begins. The next 30 minutes or so were a blur. Magically I got myself up, ready to go, did the morning Starbucks routine, and got into the dance studio just in time for the 12 hour rehearsal I was running. Nailed it!
We had only gotten through 2 groups and I was already loosing energy. As each minute passed my focus diverted to my empty coffee cup and how much I wished it to be full. Stupid caffeine addiction! Cue daydream sequence. I drifted off and thought, " What if there was some sort of superhero that magically appeared to individuals who are over worked and under caffeinated? A superhero who knew all of your high maintenance, nonsensical drink orders and brought them to you in times of need? A superhero who spoke only in Starbucks lingo and knew all there was to know about it's franchise!"
As an improv actor, having many characters, voices, dialects, and impressions are a necessity. I need to always be coming up with new ideas and circumstances that are built off of real life situations. This will enhance the quality of my performances. So where do these characters come from? How can my characters best obtain believability from an audience? The answer is: TO PLAY! Let me ask you this. Does a chef to a rich CEO give his boss a brand new dish without trying it out first? No! How about a baseball coach, would he put in a new pitcher without knowing his strengths and having practices to raise his skill level? Absolutely not! It's the same with performing.
In Anthony Meindl's new book, At Left Brain Turn Right, the Los Angeles acting coach states, "I learned that life’s potential lies in the not knowing: the excitement and fear of throwing yourself into something with abandon — risking embarrassment, failure and ridicule rather than sitting on the sidelines of life asking for a guarantee before you take the leap. Acting is a lot like throwing spaghetti on the wall. You just have to see what works!"
I will not have my best performance if I don't "play" around and see what works. The only difference for improvers is that the playing happens in the moment that I am performing. So I have chosen to better prepare myself for quick thinking, a scrolling mind, and developed characters by letting my playing bleed into my everyday life.
I love attention. I admit it. But in all honestly any performer who states otherwise is probably lying to you. I will be the first person to jump at the opportunity to transform into something and play. I could give you some uppity definition of playing to distract you from immediately picturing a five year old dressing up as Mrs. Pilafluff the english tea party hostess, but that's EXACTLY what it is! I completely admire the juvenile mind. They somehow grasp the idea of being carefree enough to do, say, or be anything they want. To me, that is one of my greatest inspirations. With that said, when my mind takes me to an idea that might seem immature or off-the-rocker, I shamelessly give in and do it. Those are the moments I can use to create, develop, or expand my repertoire of characters.
Anyone who has experienced me could say that I have a hundred sides, and you never know which one you are going to get. They are a 100% right. I tend to decide who I am each day depending on the way I get ready, the clothes I wear, or the tasks I need to accomplish before I sleep. For example, one rainy day in California I wore a big red trench coat and combat boots. Immediately, I decided I would encompass the characteristics and mannerisms of Captain Hook. I quickly added to my attire a big black belt, a hat, as well as a lingo only the scallywags of sea would be accustomed to, and went about my day. Did I get strange looks? Duh! Did I have unusual interactions with random people? Of course! Here's the big one: Did I get a reaction? (Cue game show atmosphere. " Ding Ding Ding! Yes! What do we have for her Johnny?!?!" ) Yes! You see, that's exactly why I do what I do. I love to get the reaction and make people feel! Even if it is at the risk of looking completely ridiculous, sounding strange, or causing a scene (sometimes in public.)
" It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe
Truth is, I thrive for those types of improv moments. Don't get me wrong, I love to be on a stage putting on a show. I adore being behind a camera repeating a performance to get that "perfect" moment. And who isn't fond of receiving a check for playing?! But the spontaneity of carrying my performances into my everyday situations really helps with believability. After pulling antics or stirring attention, I am regularly reflecting and recording. Being able to step outside how people would react to Amanda helps me create scenarios with a completely different perspective. In wanting to be a sketch actor, I need to create characters that have enough depth for others and myself to write continuously for. In getting that depth, it takes a full commitment to my craft.
When a wacky idea sprouts in my brain I instantly force off all voices of reason and just go with it. I will commit to having a strange quirk, carry myself from a different center of gravity, repeatedly use new lingo/ tones in my voice , dive into new experiences, or even change my environment drastically if I know it can help sharpen my art. In my journey to becoming a stronger improviser, the dedication to developing new personas is imperative. Sometimes that means creating a scene in public. Either way, It is something I have always done and am stoked to actually capture and somewhat archive through Spire Spire. Where was I? Oh yes, the twelve hour rehearsal!
It hadn't even been five minutes later that I had completely stalled rehearsal to commit to a new character and a chance to improvise in public. My costume consisted of things I could find around the studio; green feather boas, arm bands, a markered "SBA" across my chest, and of course the coffee collar mask (to hide my true identity.) I became Sir Bux A Lot. Along with a few students, I ventured out to the nearest Starbucks location. Those around me were a bit baffled, but I stayed committed to creating a scene. I have returned to the same Starbucks several times since and the workers would talk to me about this person who came in as Sir Bux A Lot. They told me of the antics he pulled and his outbursts of Starbuck knowledge. The performance had made quite the stir. A day or two before writing this, I went back to the Starbucks and "unmasked" the infamous SBA. The workers had no idea that SBA was actually one of their regular customers.
Needless to say, it was a thrilling experience that gave me the opportunity to work on my Starbucks based material. Now whenever I come to Starbucks I am greeted differently by the workers. They often ask about my work/art and the things I produce. Success! I had committed to a random inspiration, created a character (however silly he seemed), improvised a scene in public, got a real reaction, and won over the artistic support of new individuals! It was such a great feeling. Currently I am in the beginning stages of a new character. I can't wait to share with you all who she is as I develop her further. This week, if you are around Kalamazoo, Michigan, you might just run into her! ;)
Doing things like this over the years has taught me that you never know how many people you can touch until you try. The fun part is, you have an opportunity to share all the different sides of yourself by channelling it into an entertaining and creative form. Who knows!?! you can even learn something about you as a human by looking at life through another "character's" eyes.
Till next time…
" The only thing imaginary is the name of the character you are playing"
" In your work learn to live more privately, publicly."
- Anthony Meindl
I Stumbled upon that quote moments before making the decision to join Spire Spire. Consistently, I am writing to myself about my goals and my journey attempting to accomplishing them. Never, in a million years would I think to share it with others. I felt my writing was private and did not need to be exposed. After seeing this quote, as well as talking with fellow Spire Choir member, Christian, I realized the positive aspect to allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable in that way. The idea of having others knowing your goals and keeping you motivated/ accountable for them is an exciting feeling.
I am a worker bee. Always feeling as though something more can be accomplished in my day, even if it's already after midnight and I am onto my fifth cup of coffee. My list of goals, both short and long term, grow by the hour as I am endlessly dreaming of doing more and more. I will be the first to admit, I am a bit of a free spirit in the sense that I let my heart make decisions for me on a regular basis. At times, that even means completely uprooting myself in order to take a step towards a performance opportunity, a love, a job that I am passionate about, or a chance to sharpen one of my crafts as an artist. Most people who have gotten the chance to know me have learned and accepted that as an artist I often reside in a world of my own. An artist is defined as a person who is skilled in a particular task or occupation; a performer.
Performing of any sort rocks my world. There really is no greater fulfillment than making individuals FEEL something. With that said, as an actress, I wanted to gain focus and clarity as to my next steps toward success. (To me the definition of success is embracing your unique self and using that to obtain happiness.) While living in Los Angeles, I was privileged enough to be a part of an extremely talented group of improv comedy performers called "SAY WHAT." Together, bi-weekly we did shows of short-form improv to audiences at LA Connection Comedy Theater. Our shameless abilities to interact with one another through spontaneous choices and word play brought out the most passionate side of me. It was nostalgic in the sense that I reconnected with the root of my passion for improv and sketch comedy. As a child I was notorious for writing and putting together on the spot shows consisting of vignettes or variety performances. It was an amazing feeling, but it left me wanting more.
At this point in my career I feel the need to be doing more sketch work. Some of the most imbuing sketches I have experienced was at Second City Chicago. Thus bringing about my goal of being cast in a Second City mainstage revue by March 1st of 2013. I know that to attain a goal in this caliber of work will take much more than talent, timing, and tenacity. The first step includes becoming a family member of their facility. Second City offers a conservatory program for professionals to shape their art into their style of comedy and improv. The conservatory is a six level program that studies in eight week increments. In the latter half of the programs, actors write, direct, and perform for the de Maat, Skybox, and Second City etc. stages. The next audition is dated for March 30, only a few short weeks from now. In preparation, I realized I need to relocate myself to the Chicago area. In order to make a cross-country move happen it requires a lot of energy, time, and money. Currently, my belongings are enjoying the sunny 80 degree weather of the west coast, while I embrace the arctic tundra feeling of winter in the Midwest. In order to help you get a better grasp of where I am at with my sub-goals, I need to rewind and replay you the last month of my life.
You see, on February 9th, packing only a single small suitcase, I ventured out to Kalamazoo, MI for a short trip. A great friend of mine, Elliott, had recently gotten his first equity job portraying the role of Jamie in the musical The Last Five Years. My intentions were to come and support his opening weekend and return home shortly after. Needless to say, the show was brilliant. Elliott and his co-lead Ashlyn, ( a current Second City family member) were truly captivating.
While In Michigan, I returned to a dance studio that I used to regularly teach at. The kids were so grateful to have me back. I taught a few classes as well as ran their rehearsals. Cue tears. I had missed them as much as they missed me. My time here was well spent and it felt great! When it came time to leave and return to the west coast, something wouldn't let me get out of the car. I sat discussing my options with my assistant, Carley, and then watched my train come and leave. My heart was here, in more ways than you could imagine. Impulsively, I made the decision to stay.
Me and one of my students, Rachel.
Me and my brilliant assistant Carley.
Fast forward a week and a half. I have been in contact with several dance studios to pick up teaching jobs, reconnected with a old dance group about possible performance opportunities, and watched proudly as I got the dancers in Michigan prepared for their first competition of the season. Remember when I said I live my life spontaneously to make people feel? Well, here was a prime example. I decided to stay in the Midwest for the time being; possibly up through the date of the auditions. I truly believe that your heart will lead you where you need to be in life and right now it is here. Something about being here is motivating and inspiring me to work on characters that I began developing, continue to find and play with impressions, and begin writing sketches. Being in an motivating place internally as well as continuing with the dance side of my artistic self? Good deal!
As I continuously change my mind and make spontaneous decisions, my sub goals lists adheres and revamps its self almost every day. My main sub goal is to still audition and complete the Second City conservatory. Sub-goals regarding that will be put on hold until the audition outcome. However, having stayed in the Midwest, new sub goals are emerging that paramount the audition for the time being. For the remainder of this month I would like to have accomplished the following:
1. Complete the subleasing of my North Hollywood apartment.
2. Have returned home to retrieve my car and belongings.
3. Settled in a place near or around the Chicago area.
4. Teaching regularly a minimum of 2 days a week.
5. Have at least 2-3 dance performances lined up for the near future.
Every two months I would like to accomplish the following:
(specifically regarding my main goal)
1. Develop a new character to add to my repertoire.
2. Write a least 2 short sketches. ( 1-5 minutes each)
3. Have made progress on another impression to have in my back pocket for improv.
I am sure that as this month unfolds more goals will begin to set themselves up. For those of you reading, please note that an artist's greatest compliment they can receive is support. I am a firm believer in feedback of all kinds as well as insight from other artists. Today's industry is so cut throat and competitive, that having others who believe in you is extremely vital. Even those with the toughest skin get knocked down from time to time. Myself included. A friend of mine, Lukas Hall, gave me great advice recently saying, " You are a phenomenally independent and strong woman, like a phoenix, you need to rebirth." He is so right though. It's through perseverance that we grow as artists and rebirth into a newer and more complete self. So readers, I challenge you to follow all of these extremely ambitious individuals on Spire Spire. You really never know when you're insight might be just what they needed to spark that next step!
"It's not pretending, it's imagined possibility." - Meryl Streep
My name is Amanda Anderson. I have been a performer all my life. Whether it was putting together shows with all the neighborhood kids at family parties when I was in grade school, or touring as a back up dancer for Fall Out Boy, it has always been in my blood. I was created to create art and love. That's me in a nutshell. I live to give love and I love by sharing my art. Throughout my 23 years here I have realized there are a million ways to make people feel something through my many facets of performing. I have done on-camera and theatrical acting, dance, professional dance, choreographed for dance companies nationwide, and performed comedically with improv as well as sketch shows.
With that said I have been labeled, "jack of all trades-- master of none," countless times and rightfully so. Joining SpireSpire has really forced me to organize my talents, passions, and give myself a game plan. Originally I am from the northwest suburbs of Chicago, but have recently moved out to North Hollywood, Ca to continue my growth as an actor and sharpen my craft in all of its aspects. Since moving out here I have had the privilege of being cast in one of LA's top improv comedy groups. Performing with them has been absolutely life-changing to say the least.
Having had the opportunity to do something I love (being completely ridiculous, play around on a stage, poke fun at life, be shameless and unpredictable) and be able to give hundreds of people a week the gift of laughter has been the most exhilarating time of my life. On that note, it got me thinking back to one of my biggest goals in my life. That is to become a cast member of the acclaimed NBC sketch show Saturday Night Live, you may have heard of it. ( if not you might have been living under a rock your entire life, not judging ) I know that that is a HUGE goal and takes a million steps, but is something I have decided to focus all of my tenacity towards.
This next year, my goal is to return to my hometown of Chicago to join The Second City. I will be auditioning for their conservatory program this March in the hopes to complete a six-level journey to the Second City Mainstage. By this time next year, my goal is to have been cast in at least one of Second City's Mainstage revues. I am completely thrilled to share my artistic process, growth, and triumphs with my fellow dreamers as well as SpireSpire readers! I am always looking for more ways to support people who have goals and dreams.
Much love, support, and positive vibes to my fellow dreamers,