Well hello, last week’s effort!  So nice of you to make an appearance.  Down another 2.8 pounds this week, for a total of 37.4 pounds lost in exactly four months.  Not too shabby! 

3/1       247.2
Pounds lost in March:    17.4
Pounds lost in April:      4.8
Pounds lost in May:       8.6         
6/2       216.4
6/9       216.0
6/16      212.6
6/23     212.6
6/30     209.8

I’d like to lose another 35 or so, which will probably take me twice as long as the first 35, but I’m not going to get hung up on that.  Once I’m down to my goal weight, it’ll be a transition into maintenance, not a free-for-all.  I’m going to have to do basically what I’m doing now for the rest of my life, so what does it matter how long it takes?  Every week I feel stronger, look better, get healthier.  I’m on a good path, so I’m content to keep on truckin’.  That’s today, anyway.  :) 

Things I’m proud of this week (haven’t done this in a while!) include:

1. We stopped for an unplanned snack at a gas station on the way home from rehearsal Thursday night.  I was legitimately hungry, not just “snacky”, and I figured I could spend a couple hundred calories on something and skip my precious Ben and Jerry’s when I got home.  I bypassed the chips and candy that normally tempt me at a gas station (mmm, Salsa Combos), and went for a nice big salad with fresh-looking ingredients that was filling and good for me.  Unplanned snacks are often my downfall- not this time!  Thank you, Thornton’s, for putting healthy options out there.

2. My collarbones made a brief, fleeting appearance on Wednesday night!  Maybe it was just the light, but I swear I saw them in the mirror, without pulling back my shoulders to draw them out.  Can’t wait until they are visible all the time!

3. Rather than spurning all of the food I serve at the day care, I have been occasionally eating lunch there when something healthy is on the menu. This week I skipped the pizza and cheeseburgers, but had a sensible portion of chicken salad, chicken pasta, and turkey and cheese wraps.  I’m proud of this, because when I first started, I had to be resolute in not having a single bite to eat at work.  Even if it seemed healthy.  I wanted to break the habit, and I have a wicked talent for justification.  (“I can eat this cheeseburger now!  I’ll just have a salad for dinner.”  “That was good.  I can have another cheeseburger- I just won’t have anything for dinner.  Sure, that’ll work!”) But I think I’ve gotten strong enough to be wise about what I partake in on the job. 

So, running. It’s been going well.  I was actually nervous setting out for the first time, not sure I’d be capable of going as fast as I was hoping (which was the pace of a 10 minute mile).  But I took off like a shot and sustained a running pace for the entire assigned time (2 minutes on Sunday, 2 minutes on Tuesday, and 3 minutes last night). On one of my off nights, I jogged a mile without caring what time I clocked, but I actually came in about a minute faster than what I’ve been averaging.

Anyway, during the running spurts, the resistance my body puts up is far more mental than physical, just like jogging the longer distances had become.  I love this quote from Born to Run, a book I’m reading by Christopher McDougall (who caught my attention because he’s a supporter of barefoot running and minimal support footwear like my Vibrams):

“Lisa Smith-Batchen, the amazingly sunny and pixie-tailed ultrarunner from Idaho who trained through blizzards to win a six-day race in the Sahara, talks about exhaustion as if it's a playful pet.  'I love the Beast,' she says. 'I actually look forward to the Beast showing up, because every time he does, I handle him better. I get him more under control.' Once the Beast arrives, Lisa knows what she has to deal with and can get down to work. And isn't that the reason she's running through the desert in the first place-to put her training to work? To have a friendly little tussle with the Beast and show it who's boss? You can't hate the Beast and expect to beat it; the only way to truly conquer something, as every great philosopher and geneticist will tell you, is to love it.”

It reminded me of a trick I use whenever I’m dealing with a particularly difficult, disruptive child in one of my classes:  I make him or her my favorite.  Teachers aren’t supposed to pick favorites, but let’s face it- although you may invest your time in each child equally, there’s always one or two that get more of your heart than the others.  And if there’s a kid who knows how to push all my buttons, who stretches my patience to its breaking point, who just drives me bananas- I have to flip a mental switch and think “I love that kid; she’s my favorite.”  It may not be true at first, but it’s a fake-it-til-you-make-it scenario.  And it works, although it often takes a few weeks.  The hugs and “I love you”s from that child become the ones you relish the most, and when he has a good day, when there’s progress in his behavior, you genuinely rejoice, not just because classroom management becomes that much easier, but because that’s your kid and you are proud of him.  When she has a setback, maybe it’s her first tantrum in days, it bothers you so much more than when your other kids have them, because you really are devoted to her and the way she faces her little world.  It takes more emotional energy to love than to hate.  But it’s worth it.

Here’s to loving the Beasts in our lives! 

Have a recording ever so tentatively scheduling up for this weekend.  Also wrote another commercial or two (no, I'm not done yet!).  No more progress to report.

In the coming weeks, I expect to be trucking right along with grinding out the recordings, since life is finally
about to free up just a bit.  Personal checklist has a few more things done: wedding attended, check.  Little girl's dance recital, check.  Video editing of local theatre performance (done as a favor), almost nearly check, hopefully by the end of the week.  Feels so good to have things all but taken care of!! :)

In the meantime, I wanted to post some ever so deep thoughts I've been thinkin' (yes, I do think on occasion, it's been known to happen).  I'll probably do this from time to time when there's not a whole lot as concerns the project.

This week, I've been thinking a lot about originality, that intangible, ever elusive beast.  For me, it is natcherly most often a problem in writing, but I rather imagine that its shadow looms over anyone pursuing anything even relatively artistic.  

It goes like this:  you have an idea.  You decide it's crap and forget about it.  This happens over, and over.  And over.  Then you have another idea.  This one's better.  You think about it more, expand upon it.  Eventually, if you're lucky enough to be near a jotting utensil of some kind, you jot away, and the raw working of your wonderful idea is there, in an extremely loose and shambling form.  Here's what I mean... I'll jot something
off the top of my head right now:

- The thief waits across the street in the dark of night.  Finally, no one is about.  Here is his chance.  He slips in the basement window.  Seeks valuables.  Walks past a dark hall; hears a low, growling sound and stops.  Slowly, out of the shadows steps... a polar bear.
Then lots of cool stuff happens.    And at the end there's a big showdown with a race that lives underground, some guy named Vlad, and dice that affect time and space.  Oh, and the thief is allergic to hydrangeas.  This is important.

Ok.  Now, as I attempt to expand upon that, I'll go through the typical writer's phase of just writing, writing,
and letting the story unfold to see where it takes me.  It always seems, at least when in the zone, that... how do I put this?  That I am not writing the story; the story is being written.  That I am not creating the characters; I am discovering them.  It just feels that the story was always there; it just needed someone to write it down.  

Do all writers feel this way?  I certainly hope so.  For every three weeks spent dealing with writer's block there's that brief, wonderful moment, when you realize why your character said this in Chapter Three; because this happens in Chapter Five of the second book!   It really feels like I'm reading something someone else wrote (or watching a movie, as I tend to think out my stories visually), and having that "Aha!" moment you get when reading a really rich story, or, if you're lucky, series.  Harry Potter is a great example.

Not that I am anywhere approaching J.K. Rowling.  Which brings me, in typically roundabout fashion, to my point.  Eventually, you are going to reach what my current favorite writer, Carol Berg*, calls the "it's all crap" stage. 

You were wrong; it wasn't a fun, fantastic idea that needed expanding.  What were you thinking?  Your story is crap.  For me, that means horribly derivative crap.  Nothing original about it.  The main character is so
obviously based on this novel.  This situation is the mirror of what was in this movie.  There's nothing anyone hasn't seen before.  I may as well just chuck it all and crawl into a hole and die.

Yup, that's where the self-absorbed melodrama kicks in.  But here's something I've come to realize, and keep repeating to myself:  NOTHING IS ORIGINAL.

Think about it.  No, nothing is original.  There are different perspectives, some wonderfully so; that's what
art is for.  But there is nothing truly original out there.  And that's, well, that's because of life.

Here's my view (ooh, aren't I just too meta!):  Life is based on our perception of it.  Our perception is shaped by
what we see around us.  Everything around us is what has come before.  Anything new is based on what came before it.  Everything we understand has a frame of reference.  Therefore, if anything truly original came into our lives, we would not understand it.  Without some sort of basis of comparison, we cannot hope to understand anything.

So it is in writing.  We laugh at funny stories because they are relatable.  We cry at sad novels because
we understand what the characters are going through.  All things we have a definite reaction to, we relate to.  We react because we know how to react.  Case in point:  some time ago, I wrote part of a story about, gosh,
I don't even remember, vampires or some horse hooey like that.  Anyhoo, one of the characters died a horrible death.  I showed it to a good friend.  Instead of enjoying it, or aloofly saying the writing was awful, or something like, she was very disturbed, and asked why I would want to write something so horrible.  Well... and perhaps this is not a good sign :)... but I was actually flattered.  She had a serious emotion upon reading my work!  She reacted to it.  Which means that, on some level, the character who died was relatable, the death
was sympathetic, and the situation was clearly and well explained.  And all this from a friggin' vampire story.  Goodness knows we're probably all sick of vampire stories by now.

Yes, anything that's out there came from something else.  So I'm trying not to sweat it, and just write what I
think is good.  Not to plagiarize; plagiarizing is not even trying to write something original, and you should at least TRY.  To do anything else is lazy writing, and lazy equals boring.  But it is also worth keeping in mind that even the best authors lift ideas from each other.  I just started re-reading The Prydain Chronicles, by Lloyd Alexander, to my son.  Holy cats are they derivative of Tolkein!**  And yet, they are WONDERFUL books.  So well crafted.  The sentences sing.

Incidentally, that last sentence?  Written on one of my old school papers (my teacher that year tended to go a bit overboard with praise/criticism).  Yep.  I'm not going to sweat it.  

*At least, I think it was Carol Berg.  If not, she's said many more brilliant things about writing.  And her books are a-freaking-mazing.  Level of writing craft and brilliance to which I can only ever aspire.  Check her out.  

**Although, and I know I'll get burned at the stake for this, but I HATE Tolkein.  Far as I'm concerned the guy couldn't write his way out of a paper bag.  Stories were brilliant, but the execution... bleah.  And yet, the guy is a legend.  Of course, so is Nathaniel (zzzz) Hawthorne.  Go figure.

The rental houses have subsided slightly.  I still have one to get ready for July 1st so that will keep me a little busy this week.  Just a couple minor repairs.  I have finally had the time to get back out and start singing again.  Karaoke a couple times this week and also talking to a couple more musicians about starting a new band.  I also spent some time this week working on writing a new song.  I've had some cool ideas in my head lately so getting them on paper and digital recorder as the come to me.

The competition I had entered pretty much ended before it started.  Round one is a capella for 60 seconds for three judges.  I did my thing, received more applause than most other contestants and much praise from those sitting around me.  However, the next day I received the e-mail stating I was NOT selected for round two.  Now I am not trying to say I was the best singer there and round one was spread across 4 nights so I did not hear all the other contestants.  However, I do feel I was better than most of those I heard.  I'm a little discouraged that it is most likely because I was 15 years older than the judges and most other contestants.  I may be wrong but in TV shows and contests, I assume middle aged average white businessmen probably just don't make for good entertainment.   Something to think about I guess.  If I want to continue trying to compete in those venues I will need to come up with something more exciting and/or unique.  

While it is a bit frustrating to be judged based on something I can not control or change (my age), that's showbiz.  Even big stars have trouble staying popular much beyond 30 years old.  Only a few succeed.  And I am trying to START well past my youth.

I know there are many people out there who enjoy hearing me sing and I am confident that I will continue to expand my horizons and hopefully gain a "fan base", even if only locally.  Getting a band or accompanist and getting some local exposure outside karaoke, I am confident I will be able to do what I love to do and that is sing.  If I can make some money some day, that would just be a nice bonus.  I am not giving up on the contests and such, just keeping them in perspective and not letting them discourage me from my other goals.  

As per my previous post, I also had some medical tests completed this week and all the results were good, as I expected.  Just routine precautions.

I officially borrowed my friend's guitar this week and started some "lessons" via youtube.  There is a music school near my home that offers private guitar lessons.  I am hoping to start them in late July or early August after I return from a family vacation mid July.

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer and the warm weather.  

Since I have no time this week to do anything, here are a few pics I meant to post previously... and one thing I've been meaning to post for the last couple of weeks... if you've been following, you know the one I mean...

                                                                                 This:

 And this:

And last, but not least...

THIS.

Here's hoping that worked  (It did a second ago).  It's just some stitched together clips, not in any particular order, and nearly all of them are outtakes- you can probably figure out which ones :).  Didn't want to give too
much away, so this... is... *way over the top voice* just a SLICE of what I've got in store for you!!!  To my actors, I kid with love.  Really.

Ok, in the few seconds it took me to write that last, I looked up to see my son wielding a sharp pair of scissors, and my daughter started bawling her head off.  So, back to life I go.  Until next week!

Another 3.4 pounds down this week, for a total of 34.6 since March 1st! 

3/1         247.2
Pounds lost in March:    17.4
Pounds lost in April:      4.8
Pounds lost in May:       8.6         
6/2        216.4
6/9        216.0
6/16       212.6

And I’ve finally hit (actually, blown past) the weight I was at when I bought my wedding dress (about a year ago, a few weeks before the proposal, but that’s another story).  So when my Mom is done traipsing through Europe, I’ll have her come over and we’ll try the dress on just for fun, as we did so many times in the months leading up to the wedding.  (Well, partly it was for fun, and partly it was because I needed reassurance that it would still fit, as I slowly gained about 25 pounds during our engagement.)

Monday was our six month anniversary, so wedding stuff has been on my mind.  I’m grieving a little bit that I let things slip out of my control during that period.  I tried to buckle down, making a big surge when I realized I had 100 days before the wedding, and I could make a lot of progress in 100 days… you’d think that would be motivation enough, but it wasn’t.  Don’t get me wrong- December 11th  was not overshadowed by feelings of guilt or self-loathing.  I felt beautiful on my wedding day, as every bride should. 

But packing for the wedding weekend and the honeymoon was hurried and depressing when it should have been really fun.  I love picking out clothes to wear when I like how I look.  There are days when I try on five or six different outfits before I settle on one.  But when I’m at my heaviest, 1) my options are limited, 2) I don’t enjoy spending time in front of the mirror trying my old things on and 3) going shopping to try to find something new is an exercise in frustration and depression.  I would’ve liked to pack several cute little dresses for going out dinner as we did a couple of times in Orlando... but I didn’t feel cute in anything.  I went to the Dress Barn in McHenry to find that they’ve eliminated their plus size department and no longer carry anything over size 16.  I may have cried a little in the parking lot.  (Not every Dress Barn has done this, but I didn’t know that at the time, and I was so sad because Dress Barn has always been my favorite store for dressy things.)  

Once again, please don’t think I’m feeling too sorry for myself- I had a blast on my honeymoon, even without the cute little dresses.  Six days to indulge in unlimited togetherness with the love of my life, wild gluttony (ohhhh Ghirardelli’s Soda Fountain and Chocolate Shop), and cheesy touristy theme park days (“Sea World and Disney and putt putt golfing!”)… I don’t have a single bad memory from the honeymoon, apart from waking up on the last day and knowing that it was time to go back home. But it would’ve been even more fun if I could’ve added the element of feeling like a super cute hottie everywhere we went.

We don’t get do-overs on life events that have already passed us by.  But there are so many life events I’m looking forward to, and I can work to have the body I want for them.  For instance, I can be a slim, healthy pregnant lady someday.  I can pack a bikini for my first cruise.  When I go to Scotland or Italy or France for the first time, I can feel tiny and cute as a button and pretend that European men everywhere are falling in love with me as we walk down the street.

Speaking of European men, I’m off with my friend Sarah tonight to see Stephen Merchant at Park West- he is Ricky Gervais’s writing partner, and we have always believed him to be the comedy genius behind the duo (his bad judgment regarding movie roles thus far notwithstanding).

Natalie is sitting here with me as I'm posting this today, and she requested that I put up this picture. So, apropos of nothing, here are Chris and Natalie as Patrick and SpongeBob. So I’ll wrap this up for today… still plowing ahead with the Couch to 5K training: I’m up to 22 minutes of jogging nonstop, and yesterday was a 12 minute jog, 5 minute walk, 12 minute jog that just about did me in.  I have decided against the 5K in Schaumburg on June 24th, for reasons I’ll go into next week as I share the next phase of my running plan.  Until then, thanks again for reading and for your support in the comments.  It means a lot to have you with me! 

WOW.  What a week.

Here's what happened to me in the past seven or so days:
- kid got sick
- brakes went bad
- got to work in a different office than normal (which I couldn't get to because my kid was sick and my brakes were bad)
- got brakes fixed (and rotors, and calipers)
- had my battery light come on
- changed the battery
- had the battery light come on again
- found out it was the alternator instead
- fixed the alternator
- tried to book a hotel in Chicago for my anniversary weekend
- found I could not book a hotel in Chicago for my anniversary weekend as there is a conference or
something and everything's full
- had my play get selected for my community theatre's next season
- had the "x" key pop off my laptop keyboard.

Seriously.  The x key.  Of all the keys to lose.  Must be all those adult sites I visit...?  Er.  I have no idea.

...Oh, my play?  *blush* *footshuffle* *nerdyyetinacutewaygigglesnort* Yep, I wrote a play.  Way back in ye olde 2010.  Workshopped it at my home base theatre.  And just got the word it is on the docket for the 39th season!!!  Details will be posted soon at www.albrighttheatre.com.  Stay tuned.  ;)

In other non-radio play news, finally got around to ordering this off Amazon:

Writers:  Read this.  Buy this.  Keep it in your purse.  Or your man-bag.  Tattoo its wisdom on your thigh.  Whatever it takes.

I know I promised an audio reel of what we've been working on but I must renege on that promise, if only for the time being.  Hubs and I never got round to finishing our editing so we just now finished slapping together the rough edit, and it comes out to 16 minutes... and it's a work night.  So I'll try and have it ready for next week.  

Here's hoping the coming week is less... involved than this past one.

Excelsior!

3/1         247.2
Pounds lost in March:    17.4
Pounds lost in April:      4.8
Pounds lost in May:       8.6         
6/2         216.4
6/9         216.0

Well, a tiny loss is perfectly acceptable to me after last week's giant drop of 3 pounds... I'll take it!  I lost half a pound this week, for a total of 31.2 pounds lost since March 1st. 

I did have one bad night this week, representing my first major slip-up since March… I haven’t spent many evenings alone since I started this diet, and when I have, it’s been in my own house (which is relatively free of tempting things).  But I was babysitting on Tuesday night, and having a wonderful time with my nephews, and after they went to bed I was enjoying cable for the first time in months (we cancelled our service at the beginning of the year).  Which, for me, means cooking competitions.  Oh yes.

I don’t enjoy instructional cooking shows, but I adore cooking competitions.  It combines my love of food with my appreciation for quality reality tv (“quality” meaning the contestants are interesting, talented people rather than shrill harpies who are dead behind the eyes and famous for no reason).  And what I’ve learned is that these shows make me want to eat.  If they made me want to cook, that’d be a different matter, because by the time I actually got off my butt and went to the grocery store, I could talk myself out of doing something stupid like making a whole lasagna or three dozen cupcakes just for me.  But no, for some reason, watching these people prepare roasted arctic char with orange fennel salad makes me want to binge on Doritos and Little Debbies. 

Or in this case… leftover pizza from dinner and some Oreos from the snack cupboard.  (Which reminds me:  Mike and Amanda, I totally ate a few Oreos from your snack cupboard.)  My dinners usually run around 600 or 700 calories… Tuesday night’s dinner was around 2,500.  What disappoints me is that the Oreos were an afterthought… after I’d had five pieces of pizza, I thought, “Well, I’ve already blown it for the day, might as well see what other trouble I can get into”, and that’s when I hit the snack cupboard.  I hate that thought process, and it tends to be my default attitude when I overeat.   It is such a slippery slope. 

I made it home without stopping at a drive-through or gas station for more snacks, which is the kind of thing I've done in the past after a dinner-binge.  But it took everything I had to stay focused the next day.  My Couch to 5K running assignment on Wednesday was the hardest one yet, the first time I seriously considered quitting in the middle.  There are always at least a few minutes during the jogging section that I don’t hate, where I hit a groove and feel good, like I could keep jogging for hours if I had to.  The last minute of jogging is usually somewhat euphoric, celebrating what I accomplished, putting everything I have left into the run because the end is in sight.  There were no “easy” moments like that on Wednesday’s workout.  My body and mind protested every second, right up to the 17 minute mark when I was finally slowed back down into a walk, according to schedule.  I know it wasn’t physical (yesterday’s 18 minute jog was easier by far), and I know the binge from the night before had everything to do with it.  The voices in my head were saying, “Who are you kidding?  You are never going to finish this.  Ten whole minutes to go? It’s just not possible.  Stop jogging, slow down, no one will even know, you don’t have to bring up the Couch to 5K progress in your SpireSpire post, no one’s looking over your shoulder, no one else is as invested in this whole thing as you think they are.”  I kept jogging.  The voices tried a different approach:  “You’ve lost weight before without exercise, you can do it again, there is no reason to torture yourself like this, you gave it a good go, time to stop this ridiculous jogging thing, you look pretty stupid anyway.”  Kept jogging.  Yet another approach:  “Look, you’re coming up on a mile, maybe you can just stop there and continue to do a mile every couple of days until you improve your speed and endurance.”  I was almost tempted by that.  But by then, there were only three minutes left to go (I tend to jog pretty slowly, hitting a mile right around the 14 minute mark), and I thought “I can survive anything for three minutes.”  And I did.

Recovering from a Slip-up 06/09/2012

8 Comments

  3/1         247.2
Pounds lost in March:    17.4
Pounds lost in April:      4.8
Pounds lost in May:       8.6         
6/2         216.4
6/9         216.0

Well, a tiny loss is perfectly acceptable to me after last week's giant drop of 3 pounds... I'll take it!  I lost half a pound this week, for a total of 31.2 pounds lost since March 1st. 

I did have one bad night this week, representing my first major slip-up since March… I haven’t spent many evenings alone since I started this diet, and when I have, it’s been in my own house (which is relatively free of tempting things).  But I was babysitting on Tuesday night, and having a wonderful time with my nephews, and after they went to bed I was enjoying cable for the first time in months (we cancelled our service at the beginning of the year).  Which, for me, means cooking competitions.  Oh yes.

I don’t enjoy instructional cooking shows, but I adore cooking competitions.  It combines my love of food with my appreciation for quality reality tv (“quality” meaning the contestants are interesting, talented people rather than shrill harpies who are dead behind the eyes and famous for no reason).  And what I’ve learned is that these shows make me want to eat.  If they made me want to cook, that’d be a different matter, because by the time I actually got off my butt and went to the grocery store, I could talk myself out of doing something stupid like making a whole lasagna or three dozen cupcakes just for me.  But no, for some reason, watching these people prepare roasted arctic char with orange fennel salad makes me want to binge on Doritos and Little Debbies. 

Or in this case… leftover pizza from dinner and some Oreos from the snack cupboard.  (Which reminds me:  Mike and Amanda, I totally ate a few Oreos from your snack cupboard.)  My dinners usually run around 600 or 700 calories… Tuesday night’s dinner was around 2,500.  What disappoints me is that the Oreos were an afterthought… after I’d had five pieces of pizza, I thought, “Well, I’ve already blown it for the day, might as well see what other trouble I can get into”, and that’s when I hit the snack cupboard.  I hate that thought process, and it tends to be my default attitude when I overeat.   It is such a slippery slope. 

I made it home without stopping at a drive-through or gas station for more snacks, which is the kind of thing I've done in the past after a dinner-binge.  But it took everything I had to stay focused the next day.  My Couch to 5K running assignment on Wednesday was the hardest one yet, the first time I seriously considered quitting in the middle.  There are always at least a few minutes during the jogging section that I don’t hate, where I hit a groove and feel good, like I could keep jogging for hours if I had to.  The last minute of jogging is usually somewhat euphoric, celebrating what I accomplished, putting everything I have left into the run because the end is in sight.  There were no “easy” moments like that on Wednesday’s workout.  My body and mind protested every second, right up to the 17 minute mark when I was finally slowed back down into a walk, according to schedule.  I know it wasn’t physical (yesterday’s 18 minute jog was easier by far), and I know the binge from the night before had everything to do with it.  The voices in my head were saying, “Who are you kidding?  You are never going to finish this.  Ten whole minutes to go? It’s just not possible.  Stop jogging, slow down, no one will even know, you don’t have to bring up the Couch to 5K progress in your SpireSpire post, no one’s looking over your shoulder, no one else is as invested in this whole thing as you think they are.”  I kept jogging.  The voices tried a different approach:  “You’ve lost weight before without exercise, you can do it again, there is no reason to torture yourself like this, you gave it a good go, time to stop this ridiculous jogging thing, you look pretty stupid anyway.”  Kept jogging.  Yet another approach:  “Look, you’re coming up on a mile, maybe you can just stop there and continue to do a mile every couple of days until you improve your speed and endurance.”  I was almost tempted by that.  But by then, there were only three minutes left to go (I tend to jog pretty slowly, hitting a mile right around the 14 minute mark), and I thought “I can survive anything for three minutes.”  And I did.

I felt great when I was done… so encouraged about sticking it out and jogging a whole mile and a quarter that I did a Netflix yoga workout about an hour later, just for kicks.  As far as Netflix yoga routines go, I recommend “Healing Yoga: For Common Conditions”.  Chris gets a little eye-roll-y when I do that one, because the leader uses some very unscientific phrases like “Exhale your hands into the sky” and “Breathe deeply into your heart”.  (“Don’t breathe into your heart!  That sounds dangerous!”, etc)  But it’s at my level (meaning not super challenging) and it makes me feel good.  

The high I got from using exercise to mentally recover from my bad day was so, so much better than the five-minute bliss of pizza and Oreos (followed by the sharp disappointment in myself) had been the night before.  Why is it so easy to forget how good it feels to be in control?  It beats the joy of a binge every time.   So why am I willing to let that go?

It's something I need to figure out before I get to the challenge of maintenance, that's for sure.  Thanks for sticking with me another week!

Once again, I have VERY little to report towards my SpireSpire goals.  What little "free time" I have had, I have been spending finishing work on rental houses, cleaning my house, mowing my yard, spending a little time with my pets, or sleeping.  This spring has been a tough challenge of stamina.

I have spent a little time working on song ideas for the singing competition I will begin on June 19th.  The first three rounds are each a week apart so I am preparing 3-5 songs.  I only need to sing 60 seconds for each of the first three rounds.  Round one of the competition begins this Monday so I am planning to stop down Monday and/or Tuesday to check out the venue, the competition, and to see what other contestants are singing.  One of my toughest decisions in these competitions is song choice.  I tend to be fairly "old school" which doesn't always lend itself well to the competitions.  

My main goal for the competition is to WIN.  hahaha!  My secondary goal is to network and hopefully meet many other musicians from the Chicago area which could result in new and different opportunities to sing.  

Off to install a dishwasher and some other miscellaneous chores........ 

I am over the moon.

THE RECORDING HAS BEGUN. 


Boos-yah, that's right!  Thanks to four rather marvelous people making the trip out and giving me their Sunday morning, the recording of Part One, Chapter Four of The Threads of Time radio series is already completed
and moving through the editing process.  Sorry, make that five marvelous people- could not have done it without my hubs the sound engineer... master recorder... cue giver... snacks selector.  All the work he put in freed me up to concentrate on performance direction. 

And such performances.  Lovely.  Just lovely.  I was going to attach some audio here but life again interfered (sick kid and car trouble this time, whoop-te-do), and I didn't have time to get a good representative clip cobbled together.  I should definitely have something up next week.  Can't wait to record again!

Unfortunately, that'll have to wait for the end of this month at the absolute earliest.  In the meantime I'll
take what moments I can snag here and there to do other little things:

I did get a few commercials written, which was also great.  I will attempt to get the rest done in the next month, so I'll have the whole script good to go, so I can put all concentration on dialogue recording and editing after this.  Also, this week in particular, hubs and I will knuckle down and get the whole chapter edited- bare bones with simply dialogue- and probably start at least tossing around ideas of what ambiance, foley, music, etc. will give me the sound I want.

Not a whole lot else to report this week.  But I guess there doesn't have to be.  :)

In less than 96 hours I’ll be a college graduate. How incredible is that?? It’s been a great, long, ridiculous four years and I’m so ready to be done, but I’m going to miss all of the people who have helped make these four years so memorable. I have made such best friends in college and I know that despite the distance that is about to separate us, we will remain best friends (especially if I’m going to be in your wedding!).

What with all the remaining college-y things I have left to do, working on the Brazil project has definitely taken a back burner. I still have one paper and one final left to complete (though by tomorrow at noon I will be DONE); there’s a senior bar crawl, senior boat dance, Honors cording ceremony, Baccalaureate, reception with the President, rehearsal, then of course graduation; and in what little spare time that leaves in the next four days I’ll be spending as much time as possible with friends. And maybe sleeping. We’ll see if there’s any time left for sleeping.

I turned in my thesis on Friday. I printed out seven copies (approximately two hundred and sixty pages) and turned it in. You know in Disney movies when something good happens and like, all the trees come to life and start singing with the cute little animals? That’s how I felt walking out of Kiekhoffer on Friday.

Of course I haven’t been totally neglecting my goals. A few days ago one of my best friends introduced me to this amazing lady named Melody Gardot. I was instantly head over heels. I’m pretty sure she’s singing in Spanish, not Portuguese, but STILL. I love her so much. And her music is way more interesting than Portuguese podcasts (which I should probably start listening to again….)

So my only goal this week is graduate. That’s right – next time you hear from me, I will be a college graduate!! Til next Tuesday!